You’re Being Lied To, Start Laughing

Closing is an art form unknown to Van Gogh and Emily Dickinson. It’s an art form hidden in the shadows, driving every part of our society. Who took Van Gogh and Emily Dickinson and made them household names? We may never know, but without them there would be no money to be made in the world of art.

It’s the art of the close that drives society towards its ultimate end goal of Revenue.

In the age of brilliance, with ideas at our digital fingertips, it is the job of the closer to spoon feed these rich and creamy ideas into the mouth of babes. You ask, as Carin did, “Tate, how can we close? How does one sell their ideas?” And just like so many other times in my life, I said, “Carin, close your eyes and get ready for the spoon.”

Here are the top three ways you can close more business:

The White Lie

“I judge people based on their capability, honesty, and merit.” – DJT

In the early days of my career I learned the value of a little white lie. Someone asks for something reasonable, and you tell them you can accommodate them, but not immediately. White lies are like purchasing yourself a cookie at Starbucks. It’s not why you came there, but it’s nice to buy yourself a little treat. In the end, no one is the wiser and you have the room you need to utilize the tricks and tips below.

The Business Laugh

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.” – Harvey Weinstein quoting Marilyn Monroe

Mask the rhythm of your calculations and dismiss the “um’s” and “ah’s” that so frequently take up sales conversations. Everything is fun and nothing matters. Deals? Who’s worried about deals? Not you. You’re just there to guide your client towards the fun. Take them out for wine, ask them about their career. Care for them and they’ll return the favor. All you have to do is ask.


“Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.” – Robert Oppenheimer

Your job is to craft a story. You’re not selling broomsticks, you’re selling a clean porch. You’re not selling a SaaS product, you’re selling more time with the family. It’s not about the product, it’s not about anything solid. It’s the liquid truth spewing forth from laughing lips that seals the deal. Go ahead and paint them a picture, just make sure you sell it to them afterwards.

P.S. Should you think your client knows these tricks pull out the biggest showstopper of all. Cry, and cry deep. Your pet has died, your spouse has passed on, you’re just one good cry away from that summer home ;).


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